Boiled to sulphuric grey bombs, cross-cut base and all — the exterior disintegrates, the interior stays hard, and the whole house smells of overcooked brassica for hours.
It was never the vegetable. It was the method.
Ambient convective dry heat producing caramelised, golden exterior and tender, concentrated interior. Medium-high heat, medium duration.
Sensory outcome: tender
Direct radiant or flame heat producing blackened, blistered exterior with smoky depth and tender interior. High heat, short duration.
Sensory outcome: charred
High pan heat with oil producing blistered, concentrated exterior while preserving interior bite and brightness. High heat, short duration.
Sensory outcome: crunchy
Steam or quick-blanch replacing long-boil submersion. Bright-tender result, no waterlogging, colour preserved. The enemy was never water, it was duration.
Sensory outcome: bright-tender
Roast: caramelised-crisp exterior, tender interior; charred: smoky-sweet, crisp-edged
Sep–Mar (UK field, improves after frost)